Once again I find myself writing about the SUMO Guy, Paul McGee, and something that he has taught me. In a previous blog post ('I love you sugar baby') I mentioned the seven steps that Paul McGee, the SUMO Guy introduced as a form of SUMO,(1) a manner in which you can assess your attitude and response to anything that is an issue.
Aside from just talking about the seven steps I have been trying to put them into usage and did so just this very morning.
So a little context probably will not do any harm. Some of this text is taken from an email I wrote in which I also discussed the seven steps.
I guess I was feeling a little annoyed...
Hmm, okay step back and explain why I was annoyed.
I can often be aggrieved at the slightest thing, tiny things are the real killer in any situation or relationship, they are the issues that are trivial but when they reoccur they feel personal.
In this case it was slight, but not minor, as it had reoccurred.
At this point there is a cat somewhere that is dying of vague, that's because it is relevant that you know the emotional context to relate to, but the actual thing is a McGuffin. It has no value either to this blog or in fact at all.
Anyway... rather than let the feelings fester, as I usually do. Or steam at someone, sometimes unrelated to the original catalyst incident, to blow the pressure. Both of which often result in me feeling like a bad person. Instead of that, I gave myself the 7 questions.
7 Questions to help you S.U.M.O
1. On a scale of 1-10: about a 2.
2. Will it be important in 6 months time: individual incidents have no value beyond the immediate, the issue is in repeats of behaviour.
3. Is my response appropriate: No.
4. How can I influence or improve the situation: This is an attempt to talk over what I feel - silly boy.
5 What can I learn: see subject line - I took the Seven Steps that's learning
6. What will I do differently next time: I am doing this, this time, if it works I will do this earlier next time.
7. What can I find that's positive on the situation: Doing this is fairly positive tbh., I feel better already.
Outcomes and Consequences
So the process actually helped me to evaluate how important this was. Okay I still will likely be irritated at this matter, however by analysing its actual value I can try to place its importance in the proper context. I see it for a minor problem, an irk, an irritant and not the example of a deeper issue, just a tiny inconvenience that I should ignore and appoint little significance to.
The questions allow me to take a step back, they are general enough to cover almost any situation, and the humour inherent in them allows a lot of ill feeling to dissipate.(2)
Looking forward to seeing if I use any more of those words I heard Paul speak on that night, and I may even continue to share if I do.(3)
(1) Shut Up, Move On
(2) Helped enormously by the amusing post card that the pictures came from and which is distributed by Paul at his talks.
(3) And at this point I am hoping that nobody thinks I am his secret stalker, I might be a groupie, but stalking is something I leave to Facebook
